October 31, 2003
the pride cup overfloweth
i'm going to tell you about shivlet's open mic performance at the boudoir bar in carroll gardens last night. these are the standard fare, par for the course with her talent:
1. she rocked the face off that microphone, and then brought it back for seconds, singing the powerful battle anthem "reclamation" and then the sexiest cover of "hit me baby one more time" anyone's ever sung.
2. the entire bar, crowded with about forty people, who had been chattering through everyone else's two-song sets, fell completely jaw-droppingly silent when they heard that powerful voice of hers.
3. although it was her first open mic and they didn't even hear the full effect of her songs, range, and staying power, the bartender, the MC, and all the other musicians were clamoring to compliment her after the show. blown. away.
4. and of course, she sounded beautiful, looked beautiful, and broke my heart with pride.
but like i said. these things are the usual fodder of truth when it comes to our little songstress. what really mattered to me, last night, was the story all those adoring insta-fans didn't know. that yesterday was the first time shiv successfully picked up her guitar since a painful breakup. that i watched her cry over the past few weeks, and i've watched her grow strong, even if she doesn't realize it. they wouldn't have known that, these listeners, but i did. i knew what it took to pick up that guitar again and open up her heart to play.
perhaps those wonderful strangers at the bar don't know that her music is everything to her - it's her sanity, the star her dreams are hitched to, her therapy. an extension of herself. i remember the first time i saw shiv perform, i thought, goddamn but she just glows up there. i mean it. glows. her sparkly eyes light up and her whole body vibrates the sheer joy she takes in her music. and while my shivlet has been a brave little soldier these past few hard weeks, and while i always knew it'd come back, last night was the first time i'd seen that glow again, that distinctive glitter and shine in her smile, that sign that her happiness and her delight in the world around her is infectious and breath-taking.
to me, i saw one of my dearest friends come back into her own last night. not faking it, not trying too hard, perhaps not even back holding back tears. whether she felt it or not, she glowed. and, judging by the crowd, it showed.
snaps for shivlet - one of the strongest women i know.
the places we've been
someone i once loved very dearly, who has rubber banded in and out of my good graces over the past few months, is finally doing something that makes him happy. it may not be the way we planned it, the way i hoped it, the way we wrote it, but when it comes to your friends' happiness, you take it as they make it.
i'm not the bitter, resentful type and after months of wrestling with our past, our present and our future, i've come to a place of peace where i'm not angry. i may never be in the place that i was but i'm in a place i'm comfortable with. and knowing that a simple job, a simple place of employment, is bringing him joy - makes me happy, end of story. which is a good place to end the day.
S D R U
S D R U #3 - OR, bringing it on the playground.
and by playground, i mean bar. and by bringing it, i mean breaking hearts. tonight is shivlet's open mic night at a bar in brooklyn. kate and i will be in enthusiastic attendance. but more importantly than that, we will both be wearing short short jean skirts, long long legs, and tall tall boots. take that, world.
October 30, 2003
S D R U
i love my new phone to bits, don't get me wrong... but the very best thing about it is:
the linus and lucy/peanuts theme song ring tone
and the TEXAS LONGHORNS wallpaper.
Sleep Deprived Random Update
Sleep Deprived Random Update #1
i confess, i am very too disjointed today to make a cohesive post. i'm wired and tired at the same time. so i will be making a series of random, nearly meaningless updates over the course of the day. if this is rabidly uninteresting to you, i suggest you go read someone else.
you know you've found your soulmate when she makes plans to spend a beautiful autumn day wandering around the city with your lovely boyfriend, and you're painfully, gut-wrenchingly jealous ... OF HIM.
yes, folks, the kate has arrived.
October 29, 2003
excitement, followed by some
excitement, followed by some disappointment, tailed by even more excitement
okay, i've had a pretty shitty week altogether. cell phone got stolen this weekend, money's tight, dad was driving me crazy on sunday-visit, LSAT scores came in and disappointed, money situation reaching critical mass, haven't seen my boy in days. pretty crappy altogether.
BUT THE THING IS, KATE'S GOING TO BE HERE IN FIVE HOURS SO NONE OF THIS MATTERS. kate is going to be here and for four days, all of our problems will vaporate as we halloween, paint the town red, drink until dawn, paint each other's nails, eat cupcakes with shiv and sarah b., and GENERALLY SPEND THE ENTIRE WEEKEND BEING FABULOUS GIRLS.
in other news, however, i can't believe i'm being forced to choose between the west wing and the OC. i mean, how could they program those two pivotal shows at the same time? can't i have my political cake and eat my silly teenaged cupcake too? bastards.
but none of this disjointed nonsense matters. because KATE'S COMING TO TOWN TONIGHT. and as sarah b. once famously said, "you'll pay for the whole seat but you'll ONLY NEED THE EDGE."
we'll keep you posted as the mayhem unfurls.
October 28, 2003
i wasn't lying when
i wasn't lying when i said ...
ever since i moved back to the US for good, in 1997, people have always asked me, "man, do you remember ________ [insert 1980's reference here]?" and my answer is almost always the same: "dude, i was in AFRICA. so, no." in fact, here is a complete list of the only things i remember about the eighties:
tetris.
cindy lauper [2 songs].
rubix cube.
new kids on the block.
cabbage patch dolls.
and
jams.
that's it, people. chances are, anything else you ask me about, in referring to the eighties, i will give my tired, worn, yet completely true answer: "dude, i was in -", at which point, if you've known me long enough, you'll sigh exaggeratedly and say, "you ALWAYS say that."
well, i just found irrevocable proof that i truly am clueless when it comes to pop culture and technology of the eighties childhood: jp's memories. none, seriously people, NONE of these games, gadgets, or knickknacks strike any recognition in my heart at all. except the garbage pail kids. i was down with those. even IN AFRICA.
October 27, 2003
October 24, 2003
real life, briefly i
< sincerity >
i know posts here lately have been dribbling bits of fluff, having little or no bearing on my real life. so i'll do a rare comprehensive health/work/love update, for those of you who care. for those of you who don't care, please take this time to clean out your ear wax with a brand-name q-tip®. they no doubt need it.
health being what it is, the thing you don't notice until it starts violently malfunctioning, my health is fine. after the great appendix debacle and its subsequent illnesses, i started to become mildly hypochondriac about going to the doctor, always expecting something else to spin wildly out of control, organ-wise. knock on wood, everything seems to be functioning at normal capacity. drinks to that!
work is really two things in my life - my job and my law school preparations. my job is proceeding apace. on a certain productivity level, i'm always one step ahead of the axe. there are honestly whole days where i do piddlingly small amounts of work, spending most of my day chatting to friends and reading blogs. but there are some great, frantic bursts of productivity, and not always right before a major deadline. i get excited about small projects, like organizing expense reports or chasing down invoices. my complete inability to open my mail on time (right, penny?) remains intact. on the law school front ... wait, no, i don't want to talk about that, thanks. it continues to suck. that's all.
love is a tricky thing, how do you evaluate the love in your life? i have my friends as always - strong, funny, loving people who make my life a joy and are so entertaining and engaging that my bank account is always teetering on the edge of disaster just from the sheer amount of time i spend having fun with them. i love them dearly - all of them, through all their moods. and lucky for me, they love me through mine. and yes, you've been picking up the hints correctly .. i'm rather off the dating market again. sorry, lads - i've fallen for J's irresistible combination of intelligence, friendship, a cute ass and a killer smile. tough combination to beat.
so that's health. love. work. my days are filled with work, my evenings are either quiet nights at home or raucous nights with friends. after a rocky few months of love lost, awkward attempts at dating, organ-malfunction, the heat and intensity of summer has cooled into the breezy, cooler dusk of fall. drinks to that.
< / sincerity.>
OMG IS THE OC BACK YET?!?
October 23, 2003
new digital camera loan
new digital camera loan + cute outfit = mirror picture!
now that the preppy look is in, let me just say, i knew it all along and i've been ready, people. very ready. i've got the button-downs, i've got the argyle sweater, i've got the peacoats and the plaid scarves and the loafers and the kick-pleat skirts and ...
just trust me. i've got it.
so glad to meet
elliott smith is one of those rare musicians that's followed me through life. many other bands, i may only own one album, or like a handful of songs, or whose music only fits a certain phase of my life. i went through a blonde redhead phase, a ben folds five phase, a garbage phase. but from the moment my friend beth introduced me to smith's music, in mid 1998, it stuck with me.
x/o was actually the first album i bought, amusing because over time it became my least favorite. but i was enamoured with the song independence day. x/o reminds me of my first elliott smith concert, at the now-defunct tramps, in the fall of 98. beth and i were freshman at slc, with scant friends, but we bonded over concerts like this, and we bonded over smith. i've never been the moony-fan type, but i spent long hours getting to know his music, finally understanding what the nirvana generation - my generation - had been trying to teach me through adolescence: that it's sometimes therapeutic to listen to depressing musicians. x/o reminds me of crisp fall evenings in my new home, getting to know new york city, and being lonely for the first time in my life.
either/or was on heavy rotation all through the summer of 2000, that i lived alone in new york city. i spent many nights in my room with the album on my treasured record player, drinking tea and staring out my big glass window on the lights of the village, wondering where i belonged and where i fit in. some nights weren't so morose - my then boyfriend and i would fall asleep somewhere in the middle of the second side, and my dreams were quiet and disturbing. but between the bars and rose parade always stayed with me as my favorite songs on the album. either/or reminds me of hot summer, of flip flops, of being alone, of being drunk, and of growing up.
but by far, figure eight remains my favorite album. this isn't based on some snooty dissection of smith's music - but on memory. i bought figure eight right as it came out, and i was heading to live for six weeks on fisher's island off the connecticut coast. at night, after putting the kids to bed, i would hop in my honda and take off down the desolate, winding island roads, all the way to the easternmost tip of the skinny island, and park the car on some gravel overlooking the ocean and a not-to-distant lighthouse rock. i'd turn on the stereo and lay on my car hood and write or read, listen to the beautiful pianos and thin, smoky voice and enjoy the sun going down behind me, setting over the island, turning the water from piercing dark blue to a slate grey. figure eight reminds me of winding roads and the grip of the tires to pavement, of trees flashing by and wind in the car, of seagull cries and the smell of beach bonfires and the flashing of the lighthouse at the easternmost point of fisher's island.
i'm sad elliott is gone - but not for myself. i'm sad for his family, for the people who actually knew and loved him. i'm not going to tell you i'll miss him, because what i have of him, what all his fans have of him, is only and was only ever his music. and the memories they play for you.
i could make you satisfied in everything you do
all your secret wishes could right now be coming true
i'll be forever with my poisoned arms
around you
no one's gonna fool around with us
no one's gonna fool around with us
so glad to meet you, angeles.
October 20, 2003
bullshit talks, ducks walk
last night i saw a commercial on TV, for dawn dishwashing liquid, where they were washing a cute little duck that had been badly coated in an oil spill. so the preternaturally friendly voice-over is all, "if this duck could talk, she'd tell you how glad she is to be clean again", you know, thanks to dawn detergent.
and i'm thinking, whoa. nuh-uh. if that little duckie would talk, she'd be all:
"BITCHES! you go SPILLING OIL *QUACK* into my HOME and then you PUT ME IN A BOX and cover me with SMELLY BLUE LIQUID and then you SCRUB MY HEAD *QUACK* WITH A TOOTHBRUSH, all so that some asshole in the midwest can power his THREE SUVs and *QUAAACK* TEN BEDROOM HOME with oil that you carry around on ships and then DUMP ON INNOCENT DUCKPEOPLE? if i could talk, you slimy motherfuckers, i'd take you to the CLEANERS, bitches, I'd wring you in court for everything you've GOT. and then i'd DRAG YOU BY YOUR HAIR into an OIL SLICK and i'd chain you *QUAAACK* and your mothers there for ETERNITY. DRINK DAWN AND DIE, BITCHES. QUACK."
that's what the duck would say.
October 18, 2003
weekender! tonight, drinks and
tonight, drinks and pizza and pool at wang's fabulous bachelor pad. tomorrow, early morning laziness with J, followed by unspecified fun in the city. saturday night - baseball! sunday, brunch for six! quiche, potatoes, belllinis, and friends!
hurrah for blustery, hand-holding, scarf-wearing fall weekends!
October 17, 2003
all i've got to
all i've got to say to red sox nation is ...
PPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBTBBTBTBTTBTBBT.
and
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
gracious winner? you must have me confused with someone else. i'm currently too busy dancing all over the grave of red sox world series dreams.
October 15, 2003
tumbleweeds always stop at
tumbleweeds always stop at water
i'm sitting on the floor in a house. i'm looking out the window in front of me - i see the ocean. not the beach, or some cheesy bay, but the majestic, enormous ocean. deep, unapologetic blue, teasing white crests of waves. the ocean. the window is uninterrupted glass stretching from left to right, and all i can see from my house is ocean.
inside my house i have very little furniture. perhaps a couch, facing the infinite ocean windows. perhaps just two arm chairs. perhaps just one, since i'm alone in this house. in my kitchen there is food, of course, and even a small table to eat it at, but nothing else. no whirring appliances, no dishwasher, no stacks of clattering plates.
my bedroom, in this house, also faces the ocean. of course it does. the ocean is the only reason i am in this house. my bed is large but white and the only thing in the room. along a wall in my bedroom there are many books. but no television, not in this house.
the house is perched on rock, peering at the ocean. perhaps this is the californian ocean, the mighty pacific. perhaps i'm in carmel. it does seem likely, doesn't it - the soaring windows, the hardwood floors. but perhaps i'm in maine, overlooking the brooding dark atlantic. sunrise, sunset, is the only difference. what matters isn't where this house is. nor does it matter if it exists, exactly like i see it - a delicate glass and wood and steel cage for me, perched at the edge of blue indifferent water. what matters is that it's mine, it's empty, it's quiet, and it's where i wish i was, right this instant.
cross-legged on hardwood floors. supported and surrounded by sunlight. staring through the glass. at the ocean.
TRAVELOGUE friday, 10:30 pm
friday, 10:30 pm - arrive in austin. get picked up at airport by world's best gal pals, erin [otherwise known as erwin, mind, eeyore, j-master E, kolache, poopy pants] and raychul [aka raych, shanti, kanga, soul, loquat, wombat queen, and "rachel" to those not in the know].
11:30 pm - fantastic brother-figure luiz arrives. brings beer and hugs all round.
12:30 pm - smoke. meet up with amy. head to the all-important magnolia cafe to sit for two hours and eat queso and smoke cigarettes and drink fountain soda. this was the point where erin makes clear that she has "lost a word". there is a word she uses a lot, that means haphazardly predicting the future. she can't remember word. i tell her she probably smoked that brain cell.
2:30 pm - collapse in bed. giggle. giggle more. fall asleep.
saturday, 11 am - wake up. decide breakfast is in order. make plans to meet raychul at fabulous breakfast place up on burnet and 50th, the Omlettry. pile into jetta, drive to Omlettry. eat absurd amounts of breakfast food. make fun of new californian governor.
2 pm - go to raych's pretty grown-up married-person apartment. hang out with fabulous raychul-husband, matt. play with fabulous and devilishly cute raychul-matt-married-person-cat, neville. eat a cookie. decide to go to sports bar and watch Texas-OU game.
3 pm - go to Trudy's with erin and luiz. sit on porch and watch rain, drink mexican margaritas, smoke cigarettes, talk about sex, ignore football game completely. erin continues to attempt remembering word. fails. extrapolating? projecting? no.
5 pm - slightly sloshed, head back to erin-pad, shower and get ready for night-out fun. drink beer. smoke. get fabbed up. discuss dirty sexual things and forget Brother is in the room.
8 pm - convene at guero's on south congress in a massive group of 11 people. wait hour for table. discover from middle-school gal-pal kathleen that First Boyfriend, Michael S., has now come out of closet. hurrah! eat dinner of mexican food. discuss halloween costumes and high school.
10:30 pm - head back to house. smoke. get ready to go gay-dancing.
11:50 pm - go gay dancing at boyz cellar. watch pretty twinks writhing with other pretty twinks on dance floor. laugh at the pretty twinks. dance feet off.
2 am - head across street to halcyon for "night cap". erin continues to drunkenly attempt remembering word. fails again. bailey's is had. cigarettes are smoked.
3 am - drunken sleep.
sunday, 11:30 am - wake up. get coffee at local starbucks where erin is barista. thus, coffee is free. drink tasty free coffee. discuss plans for day. decide to drive to san marcos to hang out with matthieu and have world famous bloody marys.
3 pm - arrive in san marcos. go with matthieu to showdown, for world-famous bloody marys. also indulge in: scoping cute bartendress and goading matthieu to ask her out, discussing the manipulation of media, playing ms. pac-man and tekken three and pinball, drinking more bloody mary.
6 pm - return to austin. make girl-night plans to meet amy and raychul at what food-twin amy assures is best fajitas in town, cerranos. sure enough, eat best fajitas in town (austin, sorry austinites, is a terrible fajitas town. gotta go h-town way for the good sizzlin stuff). stuff face with fajitas.
9 pm - head over to amy's fab pad to smoke, drink, and watch goonies. smoke, drink, and watch goonies.
2 am - back to erin-pad for last night cuddling up with erin. decide to smoke and make brownies. smoke and make brownies. eat brownies. giggle a lot more. make fun of hipster-next-door-neighbors. discuss plans for me to flee Big City and move to austin and live on erin-couch. confirm wiseness of such plan. fall asleep at 4 am.
monday, 11:30 am - wake up. get stuff ready. be sad about leaving brownies/apartment/austin/erin. sad sad sad.
1 pm - meet raych at starbucks. erin tries again to remember word. fails. i remind her she smoked it. drive to airport with fresh coffee and heavy heart.
2 pm - fly home to new york, slightly less in love with life here. miss friends/fajitas/driving/erin/raychul/amy/austin already. consider jumping off plane to return.
EPILOGUE
wednesday, 8 am - phone rings while on subway platform.
me: "what the hell are you doing calling me at goddamn thirty in the morning?"
erin: "I REMEMBERED THE WORD!"
me: *squeal* "really?!"
erin: "SPECULATING!"
me: "well THAT makes sense!"
erin: "so i didn't smoke it AFTER all!"
me: "yes, you did. did you smoke last night?"
erin: pause "no!"
me: "then there you go. you got it back."
MORAL..OGUE
SEE WHY I MISS TEXAS BEFORE I EVEN LEAVE?
October 14, 2003
feminism, the reason behind
i want to think it's funny. god knows, when men read it, they laugh. but i didn't print it out and frame it above my desk because i think it's funny.
i did it to remind myself why i do what i do every day. why i have a bank account that runs so low i fly into a mad money-less panic, but still manage to survive without begging my parents for money. why i struck out in new york, determined to find a job, determined to live on my own. why i dragged myself to the hospital two months ago even though i was crying buckets that there was no one there to take care of me. why i sneer back at men who catcall me on the streets, but refuse to stop wearing gorgeous sexy tops and five inch heels. why i curse, smoke, drink, laugh too loud, and still manage to be sexy. why i'm inordinately proud to be an independent woman - mood swings, character flaws, and all.
i'll look at that list every day, and i won't laugh - but i'll smile. because i don't bring a man his drink, his conversation isn't more important than mine, and i wouldn't know "my place" if it hit me on the head.
October 13, 2003
October 10, 2003
heart, broken. my heart
my heart is breaking. for once, not for me. but for a friend. my dearest petunia is brokenhearted hurting and there's almost nothing i can do. while i should be spending the weekend sleeping on her couch, feeding her cupcakes and making her laugh and letting her cry, i can't because i'm getting on a flight to texas, a much anticipated trip that somehow has deflated in excitement.
there should be a law. when a friend's heart breaks, when one of your sisters needs you, you should be immediately teleported to their side, all laws of physics to the contrary. there should be a pit stop at magnolia's, natch, for the requisite cupcakes to cry into, and the liquor store for the strongest stuff money can buy. love can move mountains - why can't it move me?
October 09, 2003
giving models a bad
i know i'm not the type to give a shit about celebrities and i mostly don't care what they do, but after having extensively interacted with the woman and heard her hilarious potty mouth yelling, "hey, KRISSA, what the fuck is UP!" all the way from california, i can honestly say...
janice dickinson is one cool motherfucking woman.
an important distinction jason:
jason: "a stalker is, by nature, creepy and consistent."
krissa: "right. a friendly, inconsistent stalker is really just your boyfriend."
October 08, 2003
Announcing! autumn is a
autumn is a time for change. changing leaves, changing lovers, changing governors, changing websites! here at pH, we welcome change. embrace it. invite it in for tea. subject it to a web-contest! the mission? redesign, of course!
what? all you talented webmonkeys out there have a chance to ply your skillz on a new pH banner. you'll have two weeks to do anything you want to it - prod, poke, pixellate, perfect - and then you'll email the graphic to us. we'll put one submitted banner up each day at the top of pH and let the public take a good look at your artwork.
then when all the banners have been shown, there will be two separate votes. first, matthieu and i will decide privately on our favorite. then, we'll ask our readers to pick their own favorite, a popular vote for readers' choice. in the end, we'll announce two equally talented winners, with two equally fun and artsy prizes - an 8x10 of one of my favorite photographs and a hand-printed tee shirt from the llama cafe!
what else? llama cafe? yep, you heard right! this design event is being co-sponsored by our pals over at the soon-to-be-launched exciting design community, llama cafe. llama cafe was once a utopian brainstorm between matthieu and i, the dream of a perfect coffee shop that we'd open together one day, someplace far away. since then, it's become a dream of his, an online art and design community, which will be launched by the end of this contest. keep checking back for more exciting llama cafe details!
what more? a couple of rules.
1. keep the banner smaller than 2x8, please!
2. the banner must say "le petit hiboux" somewhere on it. other than that, it can say almost anything else you feel works well, with any graphic you like, and any colors. during the exhibiting days, the text on the site will be plain black, so that there are no ugly clashing colors. that said, let your imagination run wild!
3. please submit only one. if you have your OWN server space, we'd greatly appreciate it if you put it there and simply email us the link. if not, attach it to an email and send it here. (JPEGs please!)
4. any questions for krissa or matthieu? email us!
dayplanner breakdown 7:45 am.
7:45 am. radio turns on blaringly loud to NPR. get out of bed, lower volume, stumble back into bed.
8:15 am. regular alarm goes off. hit snooze.
8:20 am. snooze.
8:25 am. snooze.
8:30 am. drag self to kitchen, set coffee pot. drag self to shower. snooze in shower.
8:35 am. get out of shower, follow bare minimum health/beauty routine of contacts, teeth-brushing, deodorant, hair goo, lotion on elbows and knees, baby powder on belly.
8:40 am. shuffle listlessly through wardrobe. pick suitable ensemble.
8:45 am. exchange one or more pieces of ensemble.
8:50 am. light ciggy and gulp down coffee while frantically searching for all necessary home-leaving items (keys/wallet/notebook/novel/chapstick/pen/cell/ciggies).
8:55 am. stand in living room, willing self to leave house.
8:59 am. halfway down block and remember to turn off coffee pot. come home and turn off pot, thus avoiding ultimate disaster scenario of house-burning-down for another day.
9:00-9:25 am. ride subway, survive by immersing self in novel du jour and trying not to touch body parts with anyone else riding on train. or eye contact. no touching or eye contact.
9:25-9:30 am. drag self as slowly as possible towards dungeon high-rise office building.
9:32 am. sit down at desk. turn on computer/lights. sigh.
9:32-10:40 am. do absolutely no work whatsoever. talk constantly on IM.
10:40-10:55 am. take well deserved break. go downstairs and procure hot cocoa and/or pastry of some kind. smoke ciggy. stare listlessly at building.
10:55-12:30 pm. make feeble attempts at work, i.e. write first line of article, file one invoice, half-heartedly sort through press releases, stare at coffee mug and debate washing it, consider reorganizing rolodex. end up talking on IM instead.
12:30 pm. LUNCH!
1:10 pm. do actual work for one solid hour.
2:10 pm. treat self by indulging in ten minute smoke break and chat to various friends on IM about hour of work accomplished for next hour.
3:10 pm. boss-person 1, 2, 3, or 4 will now demand work of some kind. flub excuse and spend next hour doing demanded work quickly. smooth over boss-people by doing a little extra something they hadn't thought of, revising their opinion of you from Chatty Slob to Ingenious Office Person for the next two days.
4:10 pm. surf web. pretend to buy house on island. plan imaginary vacations. stare at one-line article that was due yesterday. stare some more. start inane conversations with infrequently-talked-to IM-friends out of clawing desperate boredom.
5:30 pm-6:00 pm. find ingenious way to sneak out of office undetected. breathe in fresh city air and freedom. go "wheee!"
evening option #1: hang out with fabulous friends and current flame. laugh, drink, smoke, be merry. marvel at your wonderful life on the late drunken subway ride home.
evening option #2: go home. watch law and order on tv. eat chinese food out of container, sitting on couch in pjs. stay up too late watching friends rerun. bemoan boring life while snuggling under lonely covers.
October 07, 2003
brains, not brawn say
say what you will about my past escapades with men, but they've almost always been smart cookies. natty dresser, successful in life, socially presentable, well-built, absurdly handsome ... all other qualities aside, what really revvs my engine is effortless, natural intelligence. not the kind that gets you high marks at whatever Ivy you went to or the kind that makes you a savvy businessman, but the kind of fluid, open-minded and creative brilliance that makes you sharp, understanding, broad-minded and curious about the world. those men, no matter what their other flaws are (and there have been many flawed ones) make me positively weak at the knees. take me out to a trendy bar? wine and dine me? sure. that'll get you into my knickers, perhaps, but engage in spontaneous, funny and smart debate with me about the nature of evil, or about the history of downtown manhattan, or the viability of third party candidates ... you'll get into my heart.
so when my current flame (and favorite debate partner) solved a tricky riddle, one that had taken me a distracted hour, in ten minutes... well, folks, i won't lie, i got a little tingle down my spine.
on the other hand
when i'm not planning on being a lawyer and you know, first female chief justice of the supreme court, sometimes i think i'd make a really good sex columnist.
anybody got any questions?
bring the china to
last week featured a startlingly good meal in jason's corner of brooklyn - at kum kau on myrtle ave. it renewed my faith in new york chinese take out, a faith that had died from a year and a half of living in astoria.
astoria - where you can have brasilian, czech, roti boti, italian, indian, thai, greek, and spanish food all delivered to your doorstep for chump change - has no good chinese places that i've tried so far. but i'm a woman on a mission. and with a little help from a certain chowhound, tonight might just be the night.
October 06, 2003
one simply cannot be
one simply cannot be fabulous and witty all the time.
in short, one must sometimes have conversations like this.
monday remedies this morning,
this morning, i woke up tired and already desperately wishing it was the weekend. but like the big girl that i am, i rallied out of bed and took a refreshing shower that involved yardley's oatmeal scrub soap and mint shampoo. then i sat in my bed and stared out the window and listened to NPR and ate the juiciest cantalope and smiled to myself because it's a good world, isn't it?
October 05, 2003
bad form, lads, bad
i missed the memo that it was Boys* Behaving Badly week. lads, a few words from the wise from the FGs you're dating, want to date, or recently dated:
don't make out with another girl at a club. seriously, we don't care how drunk you are. badly played.
don't brag to your friends or the web about your recent rash of post-split sex. badly played again.
and worst of all, lads, don't say you "can't be in a relationship right now". we know what you really mean is "i want to play the field and i want you to play by my rules if you want to keep sleeping with me." at least, don't do it and expect us to stick around.
very. badly. played. indeed.
*yes, boys. with a few luminary exceptions, all of you are mere mud-playing territorial macho little boys.
October 03, 2003
memo dear fairy godmother:
dear fairy godmother:
i know i make a lot of demands on you. seriously, i realize what a trooper you are. but if i could just have this pair of boots (size six please), i swear i'll never ask you for anything ever again. for real.
love
krissa
October 02, 2003
dish! there's a lot
there's a lot to love about autumn. long scarves, turned-up collars, kicking through leaves in central park, blustery days, holding hands to keep warm, pink cheeks and warm hugs...
but my favorite thing about autumn is undoubtedly the food. summer food, while delicious, rather intimidates me. soups that are cold. leafy salads with unidentified seared objects. cold pasta. i love summer but its palate is perhaps a bit sophisticated and wacky for my taste. no, autumn and i get along just fine in the culinary department. tummy-filling warmth, slow cooked roasts, hearty soups with potatoes and tomatoes in them. thanksgiving, really, is the apex and ultimate of autumn culinary delights, but the entire season is chock full of mouth-watering goodness.
and tonight, friends gather chez l'hiboux to kick off the autumnfest with warm mugs of delicious gluehwein and my world famous madeleines sprinkled with sugar. and if the kids are good, perhaps even some tasty sliced apples as well. here are some of the other dishes i'll be serving up to myself and loved ones during this festively delicious season...
for a casual weekend dinner party, there's nothing better than a delicious and meaty traditional homemade lasagna, perhaps flanked by a hearty minestrone and a warm apple cobbler avec cinnamon ice cream a la mode for dessert.
for a saturday lunch with your lover [after you've both read the times back to front of course] - a simple yet scrumptious potato-leek soup, baconed and cheddared, served alongside a fresh warm crusty loaf of sourdough and some warm sausage like kilbasa. to be eaten in your warm winter flannel PJs!
for sunny yet chilly sunday morning brunch, hearty-up a regular favorite quiche: serve it with rosemary-roasted new potatoes and a tomato bisque soup. and of course, since brunch is all about decadence, a zuppa inglese to finish it off.
for an intimate and cozy dinner for two, a chunky delicious goast-cheese bruschetta starts off the meal, then a homemade potato gnocchi in a creamy tomato and porcini sauce, finishing with a chocolate rasberry mousse and smooth grappa.
what are some of your favorite autumn dishes?
coquetterie an building mate
an building mate of mine, whom i frequently bump into on our lunch/smoke breaks, told me today that he recently caught his live-in girlfriend making out with another guy at a bar. my friend promptly broke up with her, even after four years of relationship and tentative plans to marry. he looked quite beat around the edges over it, but he was holding up well. she'd given him no choice, after all. she'd crossed his Line.
another close pal recently had a conversation about flirting with his current boyfriend. in telling him about office-mate, we got into a conversation about the Line. exactly what is acceptable flirting behavior in a mate?
i admit - i am an absolutely incorrigible flirt. those of you who've met me know my flirting is well-executed, charming, never base or vulgar, and always intended merely as play. i will not flirt with a good lesbian pal because i think that's just cruel, i won't flirt with taken men unless i know their girlfriends well enough that it's understood that i'm simply teasing, and i don't flirt with someone i know has unrequited feelings for me. that aside, i am a shameless flirt. and i've dated, in my time, equally shameless flirts. it's never bothered me when i'm feeling secure about my lad's feelings for me, but it becomes a straw on the back of a camel if my insecurities about our relationship rear their ugly heads.
for me, i've always drawn the Flirt Line at touching each other and/or exchanging phone numbers for one-on-one plans. i think excessive touching, especially if the objet du flirt isn't part of your social circle, is taunting if it's in front of your mate and dodgy if it's behind her back. and exchanging phone numbers is tacky unless there's a professional reason or related to your social group. going out one-on-one with a girl you don't know very well while dating someone else, no matter how pure your intentions, will absolutely look sketchy to your mate.
aside from those two relatively concrete rules, i've always felt flirting is simply the modern way of play-acting, socially. no, of course you don't mean it. neither did any of oscar wilde's characters mean the plethora of witty barbs they exchanged over dinner tables. it's simply something one does to entertain oneself, to add a dash of piquante to a conversation. imagine how dull life would be without flirting.
but tell me, pals - where are your Flirt Lines?
October 01, 2003
things just keep getting
things just keep getting better!
as if autumn wasn't exciting enough, the glorious fellow FG miss kate will be spending the long halloween weekend here with us.
a charmed life, i tell you.